


The Thought Of Losing You Is Not An Option

by AgentBarryAllen (Sweet_Tea_Owl)



Series: ColdFlashAtom [8]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 17:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6966388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_Tea_Owl/pseuds/AgentBarryAllen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Len and Ray get a text they never wanted to receive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [traciller](https://archiveofourown.org/users/traciller/gifts).



> I'm living up to my status as the angst horseman of the apocalypse so let's ride people!!

It had started out as a joke. Whenever one of them was feeling horny they would text the group chat ❄️⚡️⚛ and the others would come as fast as they could, pun intended. Then, one day the meaning of the emoji signal changed when Len sent it. Ray was the first to arrive, because they lived on the same ship being the only reason, and he froze just inside the doorway. Barry showed up seconds later, almost crashing into Ray, and he skidded to a halt next to him. Len was huddled in the center of the bed, forehead on his knees, and he was trembling slightly but he wasn’t crying. Not yet at least. Barry and Ray didn’t say a word, somehow knowing Len would react badly to voices, and they crawled onto the bed.

 

* * *

 

After that the use of the signal slowly stopped being about sex and it turned into something different. Sometimes it was one of them needing to talk out their problem of the week. Sometimes it like the first time and they just held each other in comfortable silence.

  
Then when Barry got ⚡️⚛ and no snowflake, he knew something was wrong. When he found Ray the sinking feeling he had turned into a pit of despair, “No. Ray, No! What happened?” All it had taken was one look at Ray for Barry to know Len was gone. Ray’s eyes were red rimmed and brimming with unshed tears.

“It was supposed to be Mick, Barry.” Ray whimpered, the tears starting to roll down his face, “When I left it was Mick holding the failsafe. But then Len showed up after I was gone and he knocked Mick out and told Sara to take him back to the ship. She told me she tried to change his mind but there wasn’t time. There wasn’t time, Barry. He left us.”

Barry started crying halfway through Ray’s sobbed stuttered story and he pulled Ray into a hug at the end of it, murmuring, “No he didn’t Ray, he was trying to protect you. Don’t try and tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing. We both would have done it.”

“I know, Barry.” Ray sighed, not truly calming down but his breath stopped hitching out in sobs. Barry wanted to ask more, to know more, about the events that lead to Len- that lead to that chain of events. Barry didn’t want to believe he was gone, couldn’t believe it. They fell asleep holding each other that night, their faces tear stained and fingers linked, afraid of losing the other if they let go.

Eventually they got Len back but Barry and Ray would never forget what it had been like to go without him. They both silently wished Len would never have to experience what it was like to go through what they had. Then they got married and the over the years the pain of knowing faded but sometimes Ray or Barry would wake up in the middle of the night to make sure Len was still there.


	2. Chapter 1

It was a normal day for Len and Ray when they got The Text. Barry had gone out to fight the latest metahuman criminal while they got to stay in bed and sleep a little longer since they were done with the whole time travel thing. They slept through the first couple calls from Caitlin but finally Len was woken by the text tone he had set for Barry. Ray’s phone also chimed but he groaned and buried his face deeper into his pillow, leaving Len to carefully extract himself from Ray’s limbs to check his phone. It was probably Barry asking them if they wanted donuts or coffee from Jitters anyway. 

 

It took him a couple moments to comprehend what he was seeing on his phone screen, his eyes still blurry with sleep and the light from his phone nearly blinding him. He’d missed four calls from Caitlin and twelve texts from Cisco and that, combined with the contents of the text, ❄️⚡️⚛, from Barry, filled him with dread. He jumped out of bed, startling Ray, and started searching for clothes. He pulled on his own and threw some at Ray, who’d sat up confused. Ray looked at his own phone and his face went white as a sheet. He scrambled to pull on his own clothes while Len ran out the front door to start the car. Ray finished dressing haphazardly and he ran out after Len, locking the door behind him and jumping into the passenger seat.

 

Len floored it, taking off before Ray even had his door completely shut, and they sped to Star Labs. Ray fidgeted nervously next to Len, checking his texts and voicemails. Caitlin’s messages consisted mostly of rushed pleas for them to come to the lab immediately because something had happened to Barry. Cisco’s text were pretty much the same, but were harder make out because of typos and auto-correct nonsense. But it was Barry’s text that was worrying them the most. 

 

It was a miracle they didn’t get pulled over for speeding by the time they made it to the labs. Joe must have called something in to keep them from being arrested for running so many red lights. Len barely even threw the car into park and shut it off before they were out of it and running into the labs, heading for the cortex. They didn’t find anyone in the cortex and the dread increased as the made a beeline for the infirmary.

 

Barry was laying on the hospital type bed completely unconscious, a huge bruise on his forehead near his temple. Cisco and Caitlin looked up and Ray could see them balk at Len’s icy expression.

 

“What happened?” Len growled. Ray slipped his hand into Len’s trembling one and squeezed.

 

“The meta could fly and it dropped him from a height that Barry’s healing couldn’t fix immediately. Luckily Joe and the meta task force were there to stop him from being hurt worse,” Caitlin answered quickly.

 

“How did he get back here?” Ray asked. He pushed Len down into a chair next to Barry’s bed and squeezed in next to him, getting comfortable for a long vigil next to Barry’s bedside.

 

“Cisco and I went and picked him up so Joe could deal with the meta human. He got away and they’re trying to hunt him down,” Caitlin checked Barry’s vitals, “Barry should be fine when he wakes up because of his healing, so all we have to do is wait.”

 

So that’s what they did. They waited for hours and eventually Len left to go use the bathroom leaving Ray alone in the room with Barry. Cisco left to go help the task force collar the meta and Caitlin left to go prepare more special medical stuff for Barry’s physiology, Ray hadn’t paid much attention to exactly what she was doing.

 

“Oh Barry,” Ray reached out and gently ran a thumb over the already mostly faded bruise. He hoped the hellish headache Barry was sure to have when he woke up lasted long for making Len and him worry so much, “Wake up you idiot, before Len loses his mind with worry, please.” He dropped his hand from Barry’s forehead to hold his hand. Barry, as always, didn’t listen and continued being unconscious, “Of course.” 

 

Ray dropped Barry’s hand and sat back in the chair to doze. Len came back and woke Ray up briefly to tell him he was going out to help with the meta, which was proving to be difficult to capture. Ray went back to sleeping and Caitlin came in to change Barry’s special high calorie banana bag without waking him up.

 

When Ray woke up again it was one o’clock and he stretched out, his back cracking and making him groan. He was still in full stretch when he noticed that Barry was awake and staring at him. He tensed in surprise, making his muscles cry out from abuse and seize, but he ignored the cramps and slowly came out of the stretch. He could tell something was wrong just looking at Barry’s face.

 

“Barry?” Ray asked, tentatively.

 

“Who the hell is Barry?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're damn right I referenced Captain America: The Winter Soldier


	3. Chapter Two- Husbands??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry learns some stuff about who he is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been mostly finished for like three/four weeks lol. I'm just awful.

“Who the hell is Barry?” Ray felt his heart rip to pieces in matter of seconds.

 

“Oh wait! That’s me isn’t it? I’m so sorry. That was incredibly disorienting. One second I was a blank slate and the next I remembered who I was,” Barry was rambling and Ray could only stare at him. 

 

Caitlin chose that moment to come back into the room, “Barry! How are you feeling?”

 

Before Barry had a chance to answer Ray found his voice. “He didn’t know who he was,” he said, feeling numb. 

 

“Yeah! It was really weird,” Barry agreed, “So are you my Doctor? And who’s he?” Barry pointed to Ray, making pain shoot through Ray’s chest. “Oh my gosh! Is he my boyfriend?!” Barry stopped talking to a shell shocked Caitlin and focused back on Ray, “Are you my boyfriend? No, you’re wearing a wedding ring,” Barry hadn’t lost his observational skills from being a CSI along with his memory, it seemed. He looked down, seeming disappointed, and gasped, startling both Ray and Caitlin.

 

He held up his left hand excitedly and waved it around, pointing at the matching ring on his hand, “You’re married to me! Wow!” The excitement dropped from Barry’s face, sorrow quickly replacing it, “I am so sorry I don’t remember you. I’m pretty sure I love you a lot though. What’s your name?”

 

“Ray Palmer,” Ray replied. Maybe Barry’s memory would be triggered by his name, he thought. 

 

Barry winced and brought a hand up to his head where he’d been injured and Caitlin made herself known again. She checked Barry’s vitals and tried to get him to answer some questions about presidents and the year it was but Barry only hissed in pain and shook his head until the pain faded.

 

“The president is (insert fake female pres here) and the year is 2021. I’m sorry,” Barry looked back at Ray again, “I’m married to a superhero?”

 

“Is that all you remember about me?” Ray asked.

 

“Yeah, sorry. It seems like everything I remember about you is stuff I read about you. Some of it is texts, but I’m only remembering half of them so they don’t make much sense.” Barry looked like he had more to say but Caitlin caught his attention again to do more tests.

 

Ray received a text from Len saying they were back and on their way to the infirmary. It filled Ray with dread and he rushed from the room to meet Len before he made it to the room. Barry watched him leave with an expression of hurt and confusion. Through the window in his room he could see Ray run up to a man that came into view. The man’s face filled with dread before Ray had even had a chance to speak and he looked through the window at Barry. Relief covered his face when he saw Barry and he tried to walk around Ray to get in the room but Ray stopped the man with a hand on his shoulder and the other cupping the man’s confused face. Barry expected to feel pain at seeing Ray touch another man so fondly but he didn’t, and he was even more confused than before. Ray started talking to the man but Barry couldn’t hear anything and he was terrible at reading lips so he turned his attention back to his doctor and her tests.

 

“Len, wait!” Ray stopped Len and shook his head. “It’s not good.”

 

“Why? What’s wrong,” Len felt panic rise in his throat.

 

“He can’t remember anything. I told him my name and all he could remember was stuff he read about me. He didn’t even know who he was at first Len!” Ray dropped his hands to grasp Len’s, squeezing them, “What are we going to do? What if he never remembers how he feels about us?”

 

“Then we’ll just have to make him fall in love with us again, Ray.” Len squeezed Ray’s hands back and pulled him into a hug. He rubbed Ray’s back comfortingly, “We did it once, we can do it again.” He didn’t feel as confident as he sounded but he had to calm Ray down somehow. It worked somewhat, and Ray nodded against his shoulder. 

 

They walked back into the room to find Barry looking puzzled but happy, “Who’s this?”

 

“I’m your husband,” Len said cautiously. That had hurt more than he’d been expecting.

 

The puzzled look on Barry’s face 

increased in its intensity, “But Ray is my husband.” He looked down at the ring on Len’s finger and realized matched Ray and his own rings. Len and Ray looked at one another, silently asking the other how they were going to explain this when Barry started them both by shouting.

 

“No way! I have two husbands? Isn’t that illegal or something? Are we mormons? Wait mormons only do multiple wives, I think. I’m confused.” Barry waited for an explanation but Len and Ray were still too surprised by Barry being so okay with it.

 

“Well, you’re not really. It’s still illegal so you guys just exchanged rings. But yeah, you have two husbands. Congratulations.” Caitlin answered for them. 

 

The confusion melted from Barry's face and he smiled brightly at Len and Ray. He stared at Ray and- “What's your name then?”

 

Barry's smiles were always infectious and Len had been smiling back but it disappeared when Barry asked his name. “My name is Leonard Snart, but you and Ray call me Len.”

 

Barry made a face, “God. Leonard is almost as bad as Bartholomew.” 

 

“Hey, Snart ain’t sexy either.” A third, older man entered the room and he looked happy to see Barry.

 

“Woah, deja vu.” Barry rubbed his temple and frowned, “You’re not married to me too are you?”

 

“What the hell, Barry, no!” A look of horror and disgust crossed Joe’s face before it turned to concern and confusion.

 

“Oh good. I’m getting more of a dad-like vibe from you anyway. Am I adopted?” Barry’s face was almost permanently puzzled at this point.

 

“No I’m your foster-” Joe cut himself off and turned to Caitlin, “I’m sorry what’s going on here?”

“Why don’t you come outside and I’ll explain,” Caitlin said softly and led Joe out of the room, leaving Barry alone with Len and Ray.

 

“So,” Barry turned his attention back to his husbands, “I’m married to a hero and a reformed criminal? How cool is that!”

  
Len breathed a mental sigh of relief. Barry remembered who he was at least and that was at least a start.


End file.
